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Costa Rica travel companion advice

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Costa Rica travel companion advice

I booked a trip with a guy I was dating but I only see him as friend and I know he feels the opposite which is going to make my first international trip weird if he still decides to come. After researching a lot about name transfers on airline tickets it seems like that is out of the question. I'm flying Delta. I'm still going on this trip no matter what. Even if I have to go by myself. Has anyone been on a similar situation? I need advice. I don't think it's fair for me to tell him he can't come with me when he already paid for his flight and even expedited his passport. But I also don't wanna spend 10 whole days with someone who is going to try to make moves on me and make things weird. I haven't booked any hotels yet, but he is definitely not sleeping in the room as me. I really want to enjoy my vacation and I am already hoping I can find a girl friend to come with. Regardless, I don't know if I should tell him that wether he decides to go or not, I will not be staying with him. I'm the one who is planning the whole trip. He was just gonna follow my itinerary. His options are either to still go and do his own thing or to agree to cancel his ticket and get credit instead but also pay the cancellation fee of $150-$200. I'm also gonna be stuck sitting with him both ways. I should had never booked a trip with him but it's too late now and I can't change how I feel about it all.

Slovenia
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1. Re: Costa Rica travel companion advice

Be fair and tell him immediately what your position is. Then he can decide for himself. You are all grown persons, each has rights; yours are to change feelings and his are to be informed about.

Costa Rica is a big country, chances of meeting him in case he decided to travel anyway are slim to none. Yet even in such situation, why people cannot be friends only?

Edited: 08 July 2016, 23:21
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2. Re: Costa Rica travel companion advice

I agree with xelas.... But I was reluctant to be the first post with my "Dear Abby-esque" input (smile)

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3. Re: Costa Rica travel companion advice

Sorry but we're a lot better at travel advice than relationship advice. I would suggest that you stay at hostels so you can hang out with other folks. Costa Rica is an easy country to visit solo and you can use shuttles like Interbus or public buses to get around. Go out and have some adventures on your own.

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4. Re: Costa Rica travel companion advice

Thanks. I am going to be honest. I guess the bigger question was more about how to tell someone you don't want them to along anymore. He can do whatever he wants with his ticket. I just don't wanna put myself in a difficult situation while I'm on my only vacation of the year. I wish we can just go and enjoy the trip but he is already acting funny since I said we can only be friends. But thanks I was just really stressing about what to do.

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5. Re: Costa Rica travel companion advice

Initially that was my plan to do a solo trip to CR. I really don't mind being solo at all. I can do as I please without having to consult with anyone. But after reading about Uvita I'm now a little scared to do it solo. Reason I'm staying there is because my friend's family has cabins with all amenities included and I'm getting a great deal. I'm only going to explore around there. Possibly do 2 days up on Jaco or even Riu is my girlfriend comes along. I just hope I will be safe in the Uvita area if I end up going by myself.

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JENSEN BEACH
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6. Re: Costa Rica travel companion advice

Guess I am confused....sounds like the trip was Your idea and maybe you convinced Him to go? You apparently took the lead planning the entire trip, Now changed your mind...you said you are "friends" but then don't even want him around...so maybe now you don't even feel comfortable being friends??? Be up front with Him if you don't want to spend any time together, it will not go well if you can tell total strangers more than you will tell him prior to traveling. Certainly not "fair". So did you plan for him to also stay at your friend's family cabin? If so, maybe he wasn't planning on the price of lodging solo? If he didn't have a passport it seems he hasn't traveled out of His Country before and was doing this for you? He may be happy to lose a couple of hundred dollars on a plane ticket rather than finding himself in a country he knows nothing about, only to find out he is not welcome to explore with You, his "friend". On the other hand he might say what the hell and make his own plans for 10 days in Costa Rica. It should be his right to know and decide don't you think?

Anyway....as for Uvita you will certainly be safe. It is lovely there. Be sure you know this area is very spread out with little in the way of public transportation. Will you have a rental vehicle? There are lots of places to see and fun things to do but the area is not walkable and does not have regular public bus service. Few taxis etc. Areas like Manuel Antonio and Jaco are easier to get around without a vehicle as are the towns along the Caribbean Coast like Puerto Viejo. If your "friend" decides to use his plane tickets maybe suggest he go to the Caribbean side while you are on the Pacific?

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7. Re: Costa Rica travel companion advice

What the heck. I'll jump in here.

You really need to be up front with this guy. I'm not sure how clear you have been. Your first sentence is "guy I was dating but I only see him as friend". So which is it? Were you dating or just friends? Did he call you for dates? Who paid for the dates? Or did you just hang out with other friends?

Maybe he is a little desperate. Or maybe he is confused by the mixed messages. Can't really tell from this.

But you need to be crystal clear with him. If he decides not to travel, you should offer to share his cancellation expenses. No matter what the relationship is, you planned the trip together. Now that you are pulling out, it is only fair that you help out with this. It also might help down the road to preserve the friendship.

If he really is a friend, than maybe y'all can still have some fun. As long as the ground rules are set. Maybe you can travel a little with him, and a little on your own. Or if a girlfriend joins you, still travel as three friends. That way you are not alone with him for ten days.

If you are both going to go it alone, talk to the airline about an earlier or later flight. They might do the change for free, or you make pay a small fee. But it would be worth it to avoid the hassle. Then make sure you are going to completely different places.

I hope this helps. Let me know if I can offer any further advice.

Warm Regards,

Pat Hewitt

Travel Professional

(but not a relationship specialist)

Edited: 09 July 2016, 03:35
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8. Re: Costa Rica travel companion advice

Thank you all. I needed to hear this. To make it clear yes we started off as dating and even though I didn't feel chemistry I wanted to give it a try and that's why I thought booking the trip was a great idea but nothing changed. So like you all said, I have to take responsibility and let him decide. It's totally unfair for me to ditch him even though I didn't force him into this. I really like the bringing my girlfriend idea. I think that can take away from any tension. I'm glad I posted this because I was really going to ditch him or make him cancel it and that's not right. It was all my idea and I now I have to go through with it. Thanks again.

Slovenia
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9. Re: Costa Rica travel companion advice

Taking tough decisions are what makes us better persons, all the time. We lost some we gain some. I hope you will learn from this episode. And do enjoy your time in Costa Rica.

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10. Re: Costa Rica travel companion advice

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