This was sooo disappointing. The rooms were lovely. Comfortable large bed, really well appointed bathroom, middle tap a nice touch for eg, great tea (tea pigs) for the meetings and reasonable free WiFi. Would be great to have tea pigs bags in the room but good sized mugs makes up for that (pet hate tiny cups).
But the food was just rubbish. Really really rubbish. The business lunch managed to create sandwiches which had literally no taste. The tempura was borderline a diplomatic incident in its insult to Asia it was so bland. And the chicken burgers looked (I couldn’t bring myself to eat one) like KFC meets Poundland in a dark alley.
Then breakfast in my room as I had a conference call. Ok five-ten minutes late I can let go. Missing Cumberland sausage, stewed tea, cold barely toasted bread I can’t. Nor having no marmalade, only really poor jam. And the scrambled egg was almost crunchy but without the crunch? I don’t actually know how you do that so maybe congratulations are in order I don’t know. But hey the black pudding had some flavour.
So those were bad. But dinner was the icing on the cake. No. I like icing. Dinner was the dregs at the bottom of a slops tray under a tap of cheap mild in a grim pub that time forgot.
The starter was beautifully coloured salmon with no taste. Tiny portions need to come with maximum flavour. This had one but unfortunately not the other.
Then we waited. And waited. And then started waiting. No waiters pouring wine so we started doing that ourselves. And getting water from the fridges when that ran out. And then eventually after about 40 minutes, we tracked the waiters down who were hiding, I presume embarrassed, in the serving area.
Much activity followed. Lots of wine lots of apologies but still no food. About an hour after the first course was cleared the mains started to arrive.
Worth the wait? Only if you were a culinary masochist. I would rather have eaten a cold Birdseye fish finger sandwich than the lukewarm rubbery cod which faced me. Coupled with it like a marriage of convenience was a flavourless bunch of cabbage leaves which were busy proving their h2o content, and a shocking lack of carbs. I know, wine is a rich source of carbs. But vast quantities of it without other carbs is a no.
I actually think the “chef” managed to create anti-food. We were more hungry after than before. Maybe my fault, I couldn’t eat the fish.
In the end we ordered bread at our table and leapt on it like wolves.
To briefly finish on the lemon posset. It was lemony. Tick. It was halfway between custard and angel delight in texture. Untick.
No tea. No coffee.
I’m currently waiting to have repeat lunch from yesterday. I’m not sure I can face it.
Shambles, people, sort it out.
- Official Description (provided by the hotel):
- Located on the south of the River Thames, adjacent to the London Heliport and within easy reach of Chelsea and Sloane Square; Hotel Verta provides the perfect destination when visiting the capital. From panoramic views of the River Thames, the intimate ambience and the very modern facilities, Hotel Verta has become London's most exclusive 'Hidden Gem'.The hotel's design, inspired by the Halcyon days of aviation, combines timeless elegance and the lobby is a striking double height atrium with a signature sweeping staircase up to the mezzanine level. All of the 70 bedrooms are fully furnished in a classic modern style, each with original artwork and the finest bespoke fittings.All day dining is available in the elegant Ambrosia located on the mezzanine level. A glamorous, fun and contemporary bistro/bar perfect for meeting friends and family for afternoon tea, informal meetings and after work drinks. As dusk falls, Champagne is the signature drink and guests can dine whilst admiring the views.The two level subterranean SPA Verta offering an innovative sanarium, heated loungers, steam room, sauna, gym and signature spa treatments, sets Hotel Verta apart from any London Hotel.Settings don't come much more inspiring than this, with the majority of our hotel meeting room facilities in London, featuring panoramic views of the River Thames and the London Heliport. Features include floor-to-ceiling windows and flexible inter-connecting options, when it comes to keeping you in touch; we have state-of-the-art audio-visual and telecommunications equipment, as well as wireless throughout. Hotel Verta offers 7 Meeting Rooms for between 12 to 200 delegates.Hotel Verta is the most wonderful, unique and romantic London hotel location in which to hold your wedding. For this very special occasion, we will enchant you with its addictive atmosphere and seductive environment, providing you and your guests with a magical wedding experience. The romance of Hotel Verta is beyond compare and has everything to make your wedding experience unique - superb cuisine, magnificent settings, meticulous and personalised service. The individuality of each couple is reflected in the smallest and most important details. Hotel Verta is licensed for civil wedding and civil partnership ceremonies with a dedicated Wedding Co-ordinator to help you organise the finer details of your special day. ... more less
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